I am overwhelmed by the KitchenAid.
- Hillary

It's hard to defend your existential hedonism when you're ten.
- Greg

There was like genocide there and stuff.
- a girl on the Vienna metro

We got married and you instantly became like sixty years old.
- Devin

I swear, I could love a fruit fly after this!
- Frankie

So, here I sit, eating Styrofoam cake while a cat licks itself on my lap. ...and the only reason I ate it was so she wouldn't!
- Julie

Ray: I have a question! Do snuff films really exist? I tried to find one online but I only found fake snuff and porn.
A professor: I don't know, Ray.